Life now seems like an extended Two Girls One Cup Reaction Video.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 5, 2020
Ahhh. The thrill a young boy feels when unhinging a girl’s mask for the first time.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 5, 2020
When NYC reopens, office buildings will likely require us to be scanned by thermal cameras in order to enter. So if your morning commute wasn’t enough to ruin your day, you’ll now be judged by how hot you are the minute you show up for work.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 6, 2020
“Things have gotten so bad, I’m considering taking a full-time job.” - People in Advertising
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 7, 2020
Ugh, by the time I shower and shave it's already time to go to bed.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 9, 2020
I love how people are calling me to discuss marketing opportunities for Q3. Guys, we're done with Qs.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 9, 2020
It’s wonderful to see so many comics taking time today to honor the mothers they blame their personality failings on the rest of the year.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 10, 2020
BREAKING: Citing a proven track record as a "disruptor,” @Ogilvy names COVID-19 as Chief Creative Officer.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 12, 2020
Packing my go-bag, but I'm afraid my ADD will make it a stop-and-go-bag.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 15, 2020
Amazing how even during a quarantine people still find reasons to reschedule.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 15, 2020
If you tweet jokes about the lootings, I will steal them.
— Jeff Greenspandemic (@JeffGreenspan) May 31, 2020